Tag Archives: life

Slimming World Update and Weight Loss Goals

Dear friends,

 

So, in a week when Donald Trump became the president of the United States, I lost 2.5lbs. On top of that I finally got my 1 stone award by 0.5lbs; I would’ve gotten it the week before but frustratingly I stepped on the scales only to find that I had managed to lose 0.5lbs. To say I was annoyed is a massive understatement.

Despite my disappointment at the scales, I did learn something quite important to the success of my weight loss journey that I probably should’ve known when I started at Slimming World. It’s the reason why I’ve managed to lose four stone more than once in the last two years.

For me stress has a bigger impact on my weight losses than anything else; it doesn’t matter how much exercise I do. If I don’t stress or worry about what’s going to happen when I stand on the scales at the end of each week, I get bigger losses. Knowing this is all well and good until Wednesday night, which I’ve started calling Wednesday Night Worries, that’s when I poke, prod and pinch myself while looking in the mirror and come to the conclusion that I haven’t lost anything at all that week.

My weight loss goal for the end of this year is to lose another 10kgs, which will mean that I will have lost 40kgs in one year, (40kgs/88lbs/6 stone 4lbs). As of right now I have lost 29.9kgs (29.9kgs/66lbs/4 stone 10lbs), which means that I only need to lose 10.1kgs (10kgs/22lbs/1 stone 8lbs) to achieve my goal. Now, given that I’ve only ever managed to lose about 4 stone up until now, the thought of being able to tell people that I’ve lost 6 stone in less than a year would be amazing.

Losing 6 stone won’t be the end of my weight loss journey because I will still have another 5 stone 7lbs (34kgs/77lbs/5 stone 7lbs) to lose before I will be anywhere near a healthy weight range. It would be a great start to 2017 knowing that I have a very achievable amount of weight left to lose.

That will be a total of 74kgs/16lbs/11 stone 9lbs lost in about two years, and as a person who has struggled for most of their life with food addiction, compulsive eating and depression that would be an achievement that would prove that you should never judge a book by its cover.

Love,

Gennie xxx

 

 

 

Boobs, Bras and Weight Loss

Dear friends,
 
 
In the last eight months I have lost a massive amount of weight and in the process I have found old clothes, which eight months ago would’ve been thrown away for being too small, are now airing on the side of being several sizes too big for me. The majority of the clothes I own, all from a time of me being in great denial that what I wanted to wear just didn’t look right or fit the way I wanted, are found in the men’s section because of the limited range of options in most plus size clothes stores. The majority of their stock is aimed at women who are much older than myself and actually like having floral prints on their t-shirts. I am not one of those women.
 
Now, I know that to most people this would be the perfect excuse to buy new clothes, but for me and my weight loss journey it makes very little sense to waste money on clothes that won’t last for a full season. I wear the same outfit to weigh in at Slimming World each week, and every time I put my jeans and vest style t-shirt on and notice it’s that little bit loser around my belly it allows me a moment to feel proud of the fact that I’m finally achieving something that I’ve been struggling to do for as long as I can remember. 
 
Recently I have noticed massive changes in certain areas of my body, one of the areas I have noticed the changes the most are my boobs. Put simply, I’ve lost so much weight that I have had to give up trying to go bra shopping. That part of my body is shrinking too quickly for it to be worth the money and effort that goes into being measured and finding something in my size, only to walk out of the shop without anything. 
 
To save money I have turned to sports bras. The elastic doesn’t cut into my skin, my boobs are held in place quite comfortably, there’s no need for me to worry about any kind of underwiring, or uncomfortable material irritating skin. Yes, my back fat bulges around the top slightly, but I can keep wearing the same bras while I’m still losing weight and won’t have to worry about buying new ones until it’s absolutely necessary. 
 
Last night, I tried on a one piece swimsuit that I bought over the summer and never actually wore. For the first time in my life I didn’t feel uncomfortable with the way I looked in a swimsuit. The only part of my body that didn’t look great was, once again, my boobs and that is because my boobs have shrunk quite a bit; it took some shifting to make them not look quite so flat or squashed. 
 
Is it just me who has noticed changes in strange places because of weight loss?
 
 
Lot’s of love,
 
Gennie xxx

Mental Health Day

Dear friends,

 

Today is #worldmentalhealthday and for me it’s a day that has a very personal meaning. Normally I have no interest in days like this but because I have suffered from depression for the last ten years I feel like I should at least do a small part to remove the stigma attached to mental health. My journey to changing the quality of my mental health started at the beginning of this month because I knew there was something wrong and it wouldn’t do my weight loss journey any good if I didn’t try to do something about it.

I didn’t tell my Granddad the true reason I’d booked an appointment at the doctors solely because I didn’t want to give him another reason to worry about me. What good would it do if I did tell him and it turned out to be something else entirely?

Turns out I was right, it is the dark cloud of depression that I’ve been trapped under, but the scariest thing about this is that I’ve been trapped in the dark never-ending spiral of depression since I was ten years old. The reason for my massive weight gain, anger, suicidal thoughts, hating myself, and having a lack of emotions finally makes sense.

In telling my Granddad what the doctor had said two things happened. Firstly, the first thing my Granddad said was “Is it your life making you feel that way?” It’s not my life that’s made me hate myself. It’s being a victim of nasty bullying at school because of my weight, it’s feeling like I have no control when it comes to eating because I’m a binge eater, it’s losing my Mum at the age of fourteen and not dealing with it in the right way. Why wouldn’t I feel depressed with all that to deal with in my teenage years?

Secondly, I learnt something very important about the female side of my family. My Mum and Nan, who were both my best and only friends, had never told me and probably because they were both embarrassed. My Mum and Nan both suffered from depression when they were the same age as me. Maybe if they were still alive I could ask them for advice that would help me deal with my low moods a lot better.

I would love to be able to tell people about my depression but the fear of being judged for it and have them see me in a different light because of the stigma attached to people’s opinions of mental health. It puts me off wanting to socialise with the few friends that I do have and all that happens is I isolate myself from the world even more.

I understand why there is a stigma attached to mental health; it’s not an illness that you can see and not have to ask sometimes invasive questions about. My attitude towards mental health has only changed because I’m suffering from depression, but if I didn’t know that I have depression I don’t think I would try to understand it. It’s not a disease like cancer or a physical disability. How can people be expected to understand something when they can’t see the symptoms?

Lots of love,

Gennie

Slimming World Diaries Week Ten

 

Dear friends,

This week’s post is a short one because although life has been very chaotic for the last month or so, none of it has been worth blogging about. I’ve tried to write something but with a lack of motivation nothing comes of it.

Thursday marked the end of my ninth week at Slimming World, which happens to be the longest I’ve stuck with something like Slimming World to lose weight. I’ve tried Weight Watchers, a complete nightmare that I don’t want to repeat ever again, I’ve tried SlimFast milkshakes because it was something I remember my Mum using to lose weight, I’ve been tricked into trying protein shakes by TOWIE celebs and YouTube reviewers, I lasted about three months and having two shakes a day didn’t work in the slightest.

I joined the gym and it made a big difference. I lost four stone at least four times and kept finding it again. Its kind of become a curse for me to lose four stone and not get much further; even when I know that it’s now or never and it probably didn’t help that I hadn’t stopped binge eating on crisps and sweets everyday. But something changed in my head on my cousins birthday back in April this year and I started taking my fifth attempt at loosing weight a lot more seriously.

My cousin’s sister-in-law to be suggested to me that I try Slimming World and for once someone else’s advice on losing weight actually worked, but only if you don’t count what happened on the scales in the week before my birthday. I’m not proud of it but I gained 4.5lbs that week, what a great twenty-first birthday present that was.

It might sound very strange but having the gain, which I knew would come eventually, made me more motivated to do everything I can in between group sessions to get the biggest losses I can. So I’ve gone from not wanting to lose more than two pounds a week to wanting to lose as much as I can every week. So, my group leader was right when she said that I could be losing a lot more weight each week; I didn’t have the motivation to achieve big losses.

I’m very proud to tell you that I lost 3.5 pounds this week, which is the most I’ve lost in the whole ten weeks! So I’m keeping my fingers crossed for another good loss like this, preferably above 4 pounds but as long as it’s a loss that’s the most important thing.

Lot’s of love,

Gennie

Cravings

My response to the Daily Prompt Cravings

Cravings, a powerful desire for something. A dieters worst nightmare in the process of trying to lose weight. It isn’t worth going into battle against cravings, because they always win in the end.

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Cravings are only ever something you get to be guilt free of when you’re pregnant; no body bats an eyelid when a pregnant woman eats a whole bar of chocolate. But when you are an overweight woman, like myself, who even thinks about eating a square of chocolate everyone says, “Are you sure you should be eating that?”

Normally, I don’t say anything but sometimes I want to tell them that yes, my diet says I shouldn’t be eating this, but cravings for chocolate are far more important than what my diet says. So, kindly shut up and let me get on with my day.

Growing up I never had cravings for anything that would be considered a fruit — oranges, apples, grapes and strawberries were not on my list of things I couldn’t stop eating. Usually if there was a piece of fruit in my lunchbox it would probably be in the trash before I could think about whether I actually wanted it or not. That probably explains why I am useless when it comes to dieting and giving things up.

I’ve always craved the things that I was deprived of. So, essentially everything that my Granddad has deemed is no good for me and will not be going anywhere near our house. I think he thought that I wouldn’t crave the bad foods if they weren’t the house; but I can tell you categorically he was very wrong. My cravings grew in intensity and very often I had withdrawal symptoms if I couldn’t get my hands on a bag of Minstrels.

My cravings aren’t so bad now that I’m older. I can convince my mind that I don’t need a more to share bag of Minstrels, but that doesn’t mean to say that I can convince my cravings of the same thing. I’ve gone two weeks without having any Minstrels, and today my cravings for a sweet treat became too much for me to ignore. I bought four bags of Minstrels to not share with anyone else. By the time nine o’clock rolls around tonight, which is when my cravings are at their worst, I will have eaten more than half a packet of them.

Although I would love to do something about not craving Minstrels; it’s not something that I can expect to be able to do in reality. Simply because Amazon isn’t going to do anything about not selling them; no that I would ever ask them to do that because I dread to think what I would become if I didn’t have a packet stashed in my bedside draw.

Love,

Gennie